CaLlInG No OnE......

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There are times when all you want to do is, sit behind the curtains of the stage or sit in front of the stage watching the show like a ghost and see the puppets performing on the stage, doing mimicry ….curtains raising up and down one after the other, you being an unvoiced audience, the shows going on 24 hrs round the clock…..

They say When you see things too closely or focus on it too directly, it gets fuzzy and blurred… everything looks distracted …You have to take few steps back, in order, to see the things from a certain distance to get the comprehensible picture …. It is strange and bizarre, how things shape up themselves whether you want them or not, in spite of, all human odds… There comes a chapter in every individual’s life when all one needs, is to explore one self , to know the meaning of one’s subsistence …Sometimes one have to draw a line before certain relationships, to know where one fits in the frame of one’s painting …


hate to say this, but, apparently,I am going through the same phase, where the cycle of my life is getting dull and tedious and being an artist, it is not acceptable and up to standard of my blotch .have to locate the shades of grey in a monotone till I stumble upon…….……. all I want is to get disappeared for some time , where no one sees me n I see none. No trace of me, no footsteps for them to find where I have moved out. To travel around, to get grounded .A place where I can spend time painting and searching my soul, getting closer to my Lord (Allah).

it Is , yet , not so easy to leave behind the people you always wanted to be around you for one reason or the other , but , I guess this is what life is all about , the fact is ,sometimes life is hard on you , it makes you do things you never wanted to do …. you can not always keep on giving explanations for each step u seize, for every movement you craft , for every gesture you compose be it rational , be it benevolent…. they can not be with you till eternity not because they can not move with you but ‘cause you do not want them to draw closer to you … how many times I have shed my tears in order to stop them with a silent notion assuming it has more power than words itself ,later I realized it doesn’t work that way … every person has a reason for the way they act…They say one is lucky to have people around them , caressing them , listening to their crap, bearing their mood swings , having fits of laughter on their stupidity and all of a sudden you draw a line before them ‘cause too much attention and consideration makes u uncomfortable . It becomes itchy…I tell you , yes, now all I need is some space .i crave to be alone , out from the this egoistical world.. To take off the mask I have been wearing for so long, tired of thrashing YOU inside ME deep down somewhere… the picture is not vivid anymore… got filth on it with time. How dramatic life is playing its part… … how destructive i have become. I don’t want to judge and put them in to a group or class , else won’t have time to love them … n life is too short to love then why waste time criticizing and disparaging others …

How many papers I have washed out in order of jotting down my emotions, my random thoughts believing paper has more patience than people. You can blabber, rotten on , talk nineteen to the dozen and go on and on and it will not articulate or state you in a category ….


I smudge down my pen right here, for a better tomorrow…. I appreciate you all for being a wonderful audience….

this can't be 'ME'

YOU, have changed........
and ...... so, have I ........




I have started to HATE, every person i get to KNOW......


when, where and how did it happen ?


do YOU know ?.....

I don't know.I don't know.I don't know. I don't know.I don't know.I don't know.
I don't know.I don't know.I don;t know.I don't know.I don't know.I don't know.
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I beleived , every person u meet wears an invisible sign"NOTICE ME"...LOVE was the only feeling i could spread .... SMILE was the only beauty i could wear....HAPPINESS was the only spark i could see in the eyes of others... the meaning of the words, rage, despair, confusion,agony, sorrow,hatred,posessive which i was unaware of, now reflect from every word u say...You are no more, the person i used to know..and ..I am no more , the same person U will ever know....

To whom it may Concern......

..........Many Happy Returns Of The Day.........

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It is so easy to say NO , sometimes out of the fear, so, how about just taking a hard road and saying ,YEs....


You know, i would like to see you again ,if , that is alright.....
(Just say this one time)...

I mean . what is so wrong in just being friends....


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Nothing , i guess.... (whisper)
yeah , Nothing....






but...........






Never Mind.........

????

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what is better? a LIE that draws a smile or a TRUTH that draws a tear?

Baba jani....

Isn't she lovely
Isn't she wonderfull
Isn't she precious
Less than one minute old
I never thought through love
we'd be Making one as lovely as she
But isn't she lovely made from love
Isn't she pretty
Truly the angel's best
Boy, I'm so happy
We have been heaven blessed
I can't believe what God has done through us
he's given life to one
But isn't she lovely
made from love
Isn't she lovely
Life and love are the same
Life is Aisha
The meaning of her name
Londie, it could have not been done
Without you who conceived the one
That's so very lovely made from love

Baba jani do you remember telling me , Isn't she lovely by steive Wander was the first song that came into your mind when nurse gave you the news saying *You are blessed with a baby girl* and you hold me in your arms saying; 'You are truly Blessed.....'

Dad dreams, he plans,he struggles to give us the best.His sacrifice is quiet,his life is love expressed

Blessed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father.
Any guy can be a father.

It takes someone special to be a Daddy.

Any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to change a dirty diaper

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he is wrong



a father is someone that holds your hand at the fairmakes sure you do what your mother saysholds back your hair when yor are sickbrushes that hair when it is tangled because mother is too busylets you eat ice cream for breakfeast but only when mother is awayhe walks you down the aisleand tells you everythings gonna be ok
When i was born,You were there to catch me when i fall, whenever and wherever.When i said my first words,You were there for me,to teach me the whole dictionary if need be.When i took my first steps,You were there to encourage me on.When i had my first day at school,you were there to give me advice and help me with my homework.I still havent finished school,or walked down the aisle, or had my first child.But i know you will be there for me through all these times and more, the good and bad.So i just wrote this to say 'I LOVE YOU DAD

There are few times when you become speechles... no matter how much you try but words dunt come out right... there are no exact words to describe the feelings... anf that is exactly what i m going though ... All i can say is....

I am as just lucky as i can be for the worlds best dad belongs to me....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABA JANI.....

The Visit.....

The things you don't show
The things you will never tell
The things you keep so well hidden
I know them.

The things you let go
The smallest details you forget about
The trail you leave behind
They carry your small secrets

You may feel you are the only one to know
You may think nothing is lost
But as soon as you let go
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It's gone

The King of Realism ...

Ron Mueck is an Australian artist who has no formal training in fine Arts.Before becoming a fine artist he worked for twenty years in children's television, motion picture special effects, and advertising. He now lives and works in London.His work is quite fascinating.I am sure that his ultrarealism produces staggering hits of wowie-zowieness

Newsweek critic Peter Plagens lauded Mueck as "the best thing to happen to figurative sculpture in ... generations." Topping that, a cover story for Modern Painters raved that Mueck was "the equal of Vermeer." Others aren't as enamored. Critics have branded him "a one-hit wonder" or snobbishly dismissed him as a "model maker." One naysayer told me, "He's a phenomenon that should be cut off at the knees." Another decried his work as "a cheap shot." But is Mueck that different from his British cohorts who also deal with hyperrealism?

Even though there may be nothing more flavorless or enervating than sheer mimicry, for better and for worse, realism is what this generation of British artists excels at.

Mind Blowing work ....

this is what we call ART...

Realistic Sculptures
by Ron Mueck from Australia

Tagged....

Since i have been tagged by Mehwish (hush)...
so, here it goessssssss......



1-Smoked a cigarette:-*sigh* well, never felt like trying ....hahaaha....i dunt like to smoke yet i dunt like smokers... :( those who smoke please dont hate me for this...:)

2.Drank too much:- as in alcohol? no wayyyyyyyy...its not good... lol ... u knwo wat alcohol does to one .... it spits all the reality of the other people he/she knows who tries to hide their real evil faces behind the zoro mask..:p

3 -crashed a friend's car:- damn, i m still waiting to crash mehwish's car.... hehehe... ... jsut joking... :p well crashed my own car with a motorcycle n got my other side of the wndow into million little pieces .... hahahahahah ...


4.stolen a car.....lol. .... .i remember after one of my other cousin's mehndi ... we cousins wrecked our uncle's car and ran away with icecreams all the way to sea side at 3 in the morning... it was fun ...the guys danced all night hella lulleya around the bonfire... its been 5 yrs now...:)its something worth remembering ...havent done since than..... :

5.been in love:-yes, with my self..... :).....Do you believe love at a first sight or shall i walk by again ....:P

6.shoplifted...naaaaaaaah... never

.7.quit your job.......naaaaaah... not so far... i m a multi tasker.. like to put my hands n feet on everything....lol.... my surrounding is beautiful coz i play with different colours to make it lively.... prolly that is the reason i n the people areound me dunt get bored easily....

8.filed for divorce.....hehe its yet too early to file.... :)

9.been in a fist fight:- i dutn like to get into arguements... fists fight ... hahah no chance.... to escape ur self from all this .. who ever starts just say .... * aap khush rahe . humari kher hia* ... :P

10.broken a bone....i always wanted to get it broken so i get plastered n ppl visit me with bouquets n chocolates.... n u can have as many icecreams u want ....ur mom wont come running to stretch from r hands n reminiding you that you have to lose weight.. hahahahah ... .

11-saved someone's live........yes , i have ...

12.been arrested........nope, not yet....

13.gone on a blind date......no,but i m sure it would be very adventurous...

14.lied to a friend.....no.....er... yes I guess....* looking here n there *ph. comeon we all do .... no?

15.skipped school.....yep loads of times.....its fun u know.... those old careless days.... damn.... in professiona life u cant... this reminds me of jagjit's ghazal.
Ya daualt bhi le lo , ye shohrat bhi le lo , bhale cheen lo mujh se meri jawani , mager mujh ko lauta do bachpan ka sawan , ye kaghaz ki kashti ye derya ka panu .....

16.seen someone die.....yes, my dear dadi who i loved more than anything in this world said farewerll to me 8 montha ago... the moment she was dying was the moment i realized there is nothing in this world you can do to stop ppl from going....

17.been to canada.......lol... me canadian baba ji ... canadian se pooch rahe ho canada gaye ho... tussi bare mazaki ho ....

...18.been to mexico.......yep n i loved it ....

19.been on a plane......no,i travel other continents flying ...:p

20...been lost...i still am ... just tryiong to explore *ME*...;)

21. Been on the opposite side of the country:-...???

22.Swam in the ocean.....naaaaaaaaaaah.... who do you think i am ... a life saver ...... :P

23.Felt like dying:- nOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo...i love my life.... :)

24. Been stung by a bee.....nope....

25.Played cops and robbers... a million times....

26.Recently colored your hair...i love my natural hair colour..
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27.done smething you told yourself you wouldnt do....Rules are meant to be broken or else you will miss out all the fun :)

28.made prank calls......well,to b honest my hands always shivered when i tried to make a prank call .. lol... i wonder y but yes me n mehwish did make .infinite times when me and mehwush got together, we used to try this a lot when we used to come to karachi.( we were in 9th grade at that time ).."aaap ka fridge chal raha hay and the person on t he other end would say ..haan and we'd go like.... pakar lay bhaag na jayaya...lol...." but since the invention of the "CALLER ID"..hahahahhaha .... but personally i never did....

29.Lost over 20 pounds......oh , hell yeah ....10 more to go... hahaaah......its not easy... :P

30.Caught a snowflake on your tongue....yup.... n i can still feel the feeling of it when i first had it ...

31.Danced in the rain.......i love to dance in the rain ... coz .. no one knows you are crying.... hahahahahah

32.wrote a letter to Santa Clause......never felt spenidng my precious time n money on something that never existed or exists...

33.Been kissed under the mistletoe....ewwwwwwwww

34. Had your opinion printed in the newspaper.....yeah in the dawn newspaper...

35.Taken a bubble bath with someone......yeah with my girlfriends when I was a little girl and mehwish was one of them....(mehwish answer pasted here )


36.Made a bonfire on the beach......yes

37.Crashed a party......nahhhhhhhhhhhh

38.gone roller-skatin..........infinite timess.........

39.ice -skatin.......yuppppppppp... it's fun... i rmemeber first time when i went n ended up my self rolling all over.... lol....

Initially i was very excited abt this quiz but ended up feeling like a punishment ... TRUST ME..... ... :P .. hell lot of questions... hahahahaha ... if u want to punish someone .. tag them. so here u go ..... everyone's been tagged.....
:)

whisper......

Another year has gone by
And I'm still the one by your side
After everything that's gone by
There's still no one saying goodbye
Though another year has gone by

Laahasil......

What is she going to learn from broke? It’s not like she was a spendthrift before....

When the laughter drained, more quickly than either of them were now prepared for , along silence ensured, a silence that refused to be broken, that paralyzed both of them even as it insisted that something be done ….
You never get to have what you had…. Things change whether u want them or not….. You kind of forced them … You decided you wanted something ,and, like always------

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Never mind about everything .Lets go back to where we were.. But she knows-knows it because she does love him that much- that it cannot be so easy yet......

these had taken the form of crimes of the tongue , or crimes of silence-things said or left unsaid –and perhaps words lose their force, just dry up and blow away after a certain amount of time, or alter their characters, changing from arrows and slights to dust bunnies of other things-one persons hearts desire refused to him or her , yet freely, even carelessly, given to another - perhaps time turns these to memories and than to words , and these, too , are
s-c-a-t-t-e-r-e-d….

ReTuRn of Benzi-Artsy...

good- bye

Hope ou will move on ...............
to Greener pastures..............................

KaIsE kAhOoN..........

Kuch kehna hia mujh ko.......

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he says:- his words mens nothing....YET..... he knows how to play with them......
he syas:- words are nothing but empty vessels ........YET .........he is the jack of all the masters........



he syas:- action speaks louder than words..........

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she ( screaming silently):- U never tried to hear her silence before like today .......AND u believe in silence....

how can u read her silence , when u can't read her words.........
AND

u ask her ... if, she could read

IN BETWEEN THE LINES.......

*sigh*





ye kaisi muahbbet hai tumahri ......
ye kaisi muahbbet hai tumahri.......






( break the ice .... ) remember......words are the supporting elements for silence..... say it... they are to be valued too ........before its too late........ .

....

Learning to draw and paint.Most amusing.Probably the only subject on offer that she didn't need because she could already do it.Well, used to be able to do it... Her early dreams of being a painter seemed like an embarassing first crush, a piece of folly best forogtten .....

Devoting herself to the glory of colour and shape in solitude , the world outside no more than fibres for her to spin into images...Alone, the patterns of her thoughts would be clear and vibrant, shockign the virgin paper with their boldness, her brush caressing and seductive ....She snorted at herself:- Saint Bella of the Divine brushstrokes........

zaroorat ijaad ki maa hia ......

how-to-get-hot-water....


Necessity-is-the-mother-of-invention....lolz...

One of my friend emailed me this pic..
its freaky !!!!!

UNKNOWN PATH.....

Isn’t it strange when two strangers become the best of friends but isn’t it really sad when the best of friends become two strangers



What is the answer?



...[Silence]...



what is the question?




Huh?


*sighs*



BREAK THE ICE ….. no more, in between the lines …
(Screaming Silently)




I miss u dadi , I wish you would have not left me that soon , life would have been a lot different from today and much easier . I know you would have lend a hand on my behalf like u first did for me , we were late, but , now I don’t want to make the same mistake …



I love u n I miss u badly ………..

GRADUATION ......

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives,
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause were on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cuz you don't have another day


Cuz we're moving on and we cant slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June,
I didnt know much of love but it came too soon.
And there was me and you and well we got real blue,
Stay at home talking on the telephone, with me,
We'd get so excited and we'd get so scared,
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair...

And this is how it feels...

As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
Come whatever,
We will still beFriends Forever...


So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money,
When we look back now will our jokes still be funny?,
Will we still remember everything we learned in school,
Still be trying to break every single rule?(every rule)
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that its not goodbye,(not goodbye)
Keep on thinkin its our time to fly



And this is how it feels...

As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
Come whatever,
We will still beFriends Forever


Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow? (somehow)
I guess I thought that this would never end,
AND SUDDENLY IT'S LIKE WE'RE WOMEN AND MEN
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Or will these memories fade when I leave this town?,
I keep, I keep thinking that its not goodbye
Keep on thinking its our time to fly...

As we go on,
We remember,
All the times we,
Had together,
And as our lives change,
Come whatever,
We will still beFriends Forever...




by Vitamin C



I MISS U ALL MY FRIENDS!!!!!!
LOVE & HUGS TO ALL MY GIRL FRIENDS!!!!
u girls rock!!!

Knowing is HALF the BATTLE......

LIFE.......


it's always good, but sometimes, when its kind of bad , it's still pretty good........