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There are times when all you want to do is, sit behind the curtains of the stage or sit in front of the stage watching the show like a ghost and see the puppets performing on the stage, doing mimicry ….curtains raising up and down one after the other, you being an unvoiced audience, the shows going on 24 hrs round the clock…..

They say When you see things too closely or focus on it too directly, it gets fuzzy and blurred… everything looks distracted …You have to take few steps back, in order, to see the things from a certain distance to get the comprehensible picture …. It is strange and bizarre, how things shape up themselves whether you want them or not, in spite of, all human odds… There comes a chapter in every individual’s life when all one needs, is to explore one self , to know the meaning of one’s subsistence …Sometimes one have to draw a line before certain relationships, to know where one fits in the frame of one’s painting …


hate to say this, but, apparently,I am going through the same phase, where the cycle of my life is getting dull and tedious and being an artist, it is not acceptable and up to standard of my blotch .have to locate the shades of grey in a monotone till I stumble upon…….……. all I want is to get disappeared for some time , where no one sees me n I see none. No trace of me, no footsteps for them to find where I have moved out. To travel around, to get grounded .A place where I can spend time painting and searching my soul, getting closer to my Lord (Allah).

it Is , yet , not so easy to leave behind the people you always wanted to be around you for one reason or the other , but , I guess this is what life is all about , the fact is ,sometimes life is hard on you , it makes you do things you never wanted to do …. you can not always keep on giving explanations for each step u seize, for every movement you craft , for every gesture you compose be it rational , be it benevolent…. they can not be with you till eternity not because they can not move with you but ‘cause you do not want them to draw closer to you … how many times I have shed my tears in order to stop them with a silent notion assuming it has more power than words itself ,later I realized it doesn’t work that way … every person has a reason for the way they act…They say one is lucky to have people around them , caressing them , listening to their crap, bearing their mood swings , having fits of laughter on their stupidity and all of a sudden you draw a line before them ‘cause too much attention and consideration makes u uncomfortable . It becomes itchy…I tell you , yes, now all I need is some space .i crave to be alone , out from the this egoistical world.. To take off the mask I have been wearing for so long, tired of thrashing YOU inside ME deep down somewhere… the picture is not vivid anymore… got filth on it with time. How dramatic life is playing its part… … how destructive i have become. I don’t want to judge and put them in to a group or class , else won’t have time to love them … n life is too short to love then why waste time criticizing and disparaging others …

How many papers I have washed out in order of jotting down my emotions, my random thoughts believing paper has more patience than people. You can blabber, rotten on , talk nineteen to the dozen and go on and on and it will not articulate or state you in a category ….


I smudge down my pen right here, for a better tomorrow…. I appreciate you all for being a wonderful audience….